I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
this will be a night to untag.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
