We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
