Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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