forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
