all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Randomize
