I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
