I wanna bring you to show and tell
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
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