I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
