There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
