well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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