It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
