is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
