Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
My pussy is not your playground.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
