she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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