hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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