2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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