ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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