she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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