That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
