yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
