I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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