Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
