get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
