you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
