quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.�
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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