i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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