The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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