Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
You pole danced in your parka.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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