my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
is that a dick in a sweater?
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