You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
