Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
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