IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
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