Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
