i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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