I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
