Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
