Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
