i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
