I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
