Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
