4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
