found the other keg... it's in the tree
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
