I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
