Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
