We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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