would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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