yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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