yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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