I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Barsexuality is the new black.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Randomize
