I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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