I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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