I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
