ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
